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This period signifies a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an commonly pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed glossary to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your decision to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {